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After a breakup it’s easy to get caught up in the past and live for the days, weeks, months and years that have gone by.  Some of us replay the negative memories, which stir up emotions of hurt, bitterness, frustration, grief or regret. Others pop on a pair or rose-coloured glasses and become nostalgic about what was.

It’s easy to get caught in a cycle of comparison between then and now, to over-analyse what happened and distort how things truly were. As a result, those thought patterns become a hindrance and an obstacle in moving forwards and upwards with your life. It’s time to look ahead.

Create a forward focus

The best way to spend your precious time and headspace is to jump into the present with gusto and start planning your new life. Invest your energy into your future. Instead of dwelling on the past, imagine how things could be. You now have freedom and a blank canvas to carve out your existence.

Exercises to help you look ahead

Here are some quick exercises to help you look towards the horizon and to build excitement about all the good things that can happen as you step into the next phase of your life.

1. Consider all the things you can do right now – where can you go? How can you spend your time? How would you like to develop? What changes would you like to make in your life? What is going to deliver the life you truly want and deserve?

2. Make a list of everything you want in your future – your friendships, hobbies, work, finances, family, travel, living arrangements, health and wellbeing etc. Start building a clear picture so you have something to aim for.

3. Think about where you could be in 12 months if you focus all your attention on this amazing next chapter – What will your days and weeks look like? How will you feel when you have achieved the things you want? 

A final message

Remember, your hands are on the steering wheel of your life right now. So next time you feel like looking in the rear view mirror, just take a quick glance backwards to acknowledge any lessons you’ve learnt from your experience and then switch your gaze through the windscreen and keep looking ahead at all the good things that are coming your way.

Are you ready for a new beginning? 

Fresh Start For Me is a 10-week online program that’s specifically designed to support you to move onwards and upwards after divorce and separation. It’s simple, effective and affordable. To learn more or join the program, please click here.

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