One of the exercises in my Fresh Start For Me program is writing a letter to the future. The exercise lets you acknowledge the past and lessons learnt whilst looking to the future, outlining your hopes and intent, allowing yourself to get excited about all the positive things to come. I highly recommend it!
I did this exercise a few years ago, soon after I started my single chapter. I came across it this week and it made me realise how far I’ve come and how much I still have to look forward to. So, for those of you who are starting your single chapter, I thought I’d share my letter.
Here it is:
I am so very excited about you. I know there are endless possibilities awaiting me. I am looking forward to building on lessons learnt and incorporating them in to a healthy and happy future.
My past few years have seen a blend of challenging and rewarding times. I had the bitterness of ending a long term relationship accompanied by the sweet taste of clarity around what I want and need in the future.
One of my messages is that I deserve a starring role in my own life – not just an insignificant cameo appearance. In my old life I felt displaced in my own household. It made me realise, an essential ingredient to my happiness, security and completeness, is a welcoming home.
I’ve also learnt it is up to me to teach people how to treat me, and I need to set an example for others to follow – self-kindness is key.
The last few months have taught me the value of solitude and I now have a new appreciation for “me time”. It’s a time to reflect, reset and restore, it’s become an essential ingredient of my days and weeks.
I had also forgotten how scary it can feel to be single and alone but I’ve also learnt how strong and resilient I am, and that I can overcome any obstacles that arise along the way. Even loneliness, a broken tap or financial angst. I have more fortitude than I previously gave myself credit for.
- Launching Fresh Start For Me – I have no doubt it will be an enormous learning curve and I’m sure there will be ups and downs but I’m ready to embrace it. I’m really “putting myself out there” by launching this venture but this is my passion – a vocation that truly resonates with me. I want to support women going through change and make a positive difference and I love to write – this is the perfect outlet.
- More adventures – I am eager to continue my love of travel to new places. It soothes my soul and expands my horizons. I’m at my happiest and most inspired during and immediately after a trip to a new location.
- Watching my son grow up – Everyday I see changes in my little boy – new words, gestures, likes and dislikes, and other personality traits emerging. He is funny, stroppy, caring, mischievous and affectionate. I love watching him grow, enjoying noticing the feelings (good and bad) he stirs in me. He stretches me to my emotional limits and then snaps me back with his humour and compassion. My feelings range from exasperation to pure adoration in two seconds flat.
- Building my financial future – I’m planning some new investment strategies to fund a comfortable life for my son and I – to fund our new experiences and provide security.
- New encounters – I look forward to meeting people with similar values and those with opposing thoughts. Both are a gift in their different ways. I look forward to meeting new friends, inspirations, mentors, teachers and (one day) a new love. I believe it’s the people in our lives who make the difference between living and existing.
- Growing more and more comfortable with the woman I am – After a temporary hiatus, my self-esteem and self-belief have come a long way in recent months and I look forward to more personal growth. I am starting to realise I am only confined by my own beliefs. If I want anything I simply envision it, plan it and execute it (however slowly) and it manifests…it’s like magic!
- Loving myself every day – I have come to realise that everything I say, do and commit to is a reflection of how I feel about myself. This includes the way I speak about myself; how I teach others to treat me; the foods I choose to eat; my alcohol intake; the regularity of my meditation and quiet time; hours of sleep; workload; self-pressure etc. The list goes on and on. I commit to making the kind of caring choices for myself which I would make for my son, my best friend or my mum.
Whilst these lessons are important and will provide a rudder for my ongoing choices, they are not all of me. My present and my future are the things I need to focus on from now on. Here are the things I’m most excited about:
So hellloooooo future – you’re looking balanced, healthy, fruitful and challenging. I look forward to meeting you in good time. I know things are daunting, I have a fear of the unknown but another lesson from my past is that challenges are always resolved, and they leave a legacy of lessons learnt and a new perspective.
I will now base my thoughts, choices and actions for today (and every day) on my hopes for the future.
Supporting you with a fresh start
If you’re ready to get back on track after a breakup, we have the perfect companion to walk with you as you build your new life. Our 10-week online program called “Moving onwards and upwards after separation or divorce” will give you all the insights, tools and templates to work out what’s important to you and where you want to be… and then we’ll guide you to create a workable plan to get there. For more information, please click here.