The end of a relationship may have its challenges, but it’s also a time to carve your new life and redefine yourself. That might mean an updated look, fresh surroundings or a renewed outlook.
Here are some ideas to create your own fresh start to signify this new chapter and move forward with gusto:
If you’ve read the book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up“ by Marie Kondo, you will already have discovered the benefits of removing unwanted, unused or dated items from your home or office. There’s such a fantastic sense of satisfaction that comes from having a clean out. It’s also a constructive way to spend time and draw a line between the old and new.
I also recommend de-cluttering after a breakup, as it’s an excuse to rid your environment of unwanted reminders and gives your brain the message that you are ready to move forwards.
To make sure you can get it all done and remove any feelings of overwhelm with the task at hand, I suggest a room-by-room approach. And remember, someone’s trash is another person’s treasure, so where possible donate your unwanted items to your local op shop.
Clean from the inside out.
I recently went on a five-week detox… no alcohol, no junk food – just juicing and other healthy stuff. I was amazed at how quickly I got into the groove of my new routine, but even more amazed at the benefits of such a healthy existence… better sleep, glossy hair, clearer skin, clarity, energy and motivation. Wow! These are the perfect ingredients for a healthy recovery after a breakup.
I found that five weeks was just the right time to break some bad habits and reap the benefits of my changes.
I recommend preparing yourself beforehand so that you have the right food, activities and mindset in place, and then go for it. Try to keep a diary so you can track the benefits along the way. You’re also likely to gain some valuable insights through a clearer mind that will be worth writing down.
Get a new ‘do.
Breakup haircuts are the best, as long as they’re well thought out (no rash-decision mohawks) and they reflect the style you’re looking for. It’s a quick and relatively cheap way to change your look, and it’s a statement to yourself and others that says “this is the new me”.
Here are some top tips for changing your look:
- Go to your trusted or recommended stylist and ask them what would work best
- Find a look that complements your face shape
- Consider the maintenance of your new ‘do to make sure you can manage the styling with your morning routine.
And then… do it! It’s exhilarating to make a change, and every time you look in the mirror you’ll have a visual reminder that you are ploughing ahead with your new life.
A fresh start in your spare time.
Is there something you’ve always wanted to try, but never had the capacity or energy to do? Well, now is the perfect time to give it a go.
You may find yourself in a haze of adrenaline whilst abseiling down a tall building, trekking through beautiful landscapes, discovering a creative streak while portrait painting, tapping into new rhythms while salsa dancing, creating sumptuous delights in Thai cooking classes, or uncovering your inner Tracy Chapman while playing the guitar.
After my last breakup, I started drawing classes. While I was at school, my art teacher berated me for a lack of ability and I always labelled myself as hopeless on the art front. But after a few lessons, I looked at my work and realised I could draw. The sense of pride and accomplishment was huge, and it came at a time when I needed it most.
New hobbies are a brilliant antidote to a breakup as they expand your mind, provide distraction, help you rebuild lost confidence and they may also lead you to meet new people along the way.
Surround yourself with good surroundings.
Is there any area of your home, garden or office that needs some work? A little spruce-up, some zhuzhing, or a major overhaul?
Renos and restyles, large and small, enable you to freshen up your home or workplace and create an environment that reflects your new chapter.
It may be something simple like changing your curtains and artwork, a lick of paint, or some new pot plants, or something more involved like a new kitchen/bathroom/outdoor area.
After my last breakup I bought a house that I loved, but it was pretty dated and a little dilapidated in places. And so I got to work on a number of projects to turn the place into somewhere that was more “me”. I re-landscaped the backyard using donated plants, created a herb garden, re-painted some rooms, hung new blinds and bought pre-loved vintage furniture online. Throughout the process I learnt to use a range of power tools, and as I sat back with a glass of wine in my new-look home I found great pleasure in reaping the benefits of my hard work.
So again, this is a great way to learn new skills, rebuild your self-belief and stamp your mark on your surroundings.
Be kind to your mind.
A breakup can lead you to ask a lot of big questions – who am I? What am I doing with my life? Where to from here? These questions can feel big, hairy and overwhelming when you’re caught in the whir of everyday activities. So during this time of transition, it’s important to draw breath, take time out and give yourself the opportunity to navel-gaze, reflect and work out your next steps.
I highly recommend mindfulness to stop and take stock of everything. I have found this practice gives me downtime and peace to process and breathe, and I always feel happy and clear after a short session (I usually sit for 10-20 minutes).
There are oodles of mindfulness and meditation techniques and teachers, and it’s important to find the right one for you. You may prefer local classes, online learning, a friend who can guide you, or a spiritual retreat. Check out your options and work out which one appeals the most.
Mindfulness works for people who are non-religious, or can be undertaken alongside an existing religious practice.
I highly recommend it to still your mind, calm your world, and give you the headspace to transition into your next phase.
Supporting you with your fresh start.
If you’re ready to get back on track after a breakup, we have the perfect companion to walk with you as you build your new life. Our 10-week online program called “Moving onwards and upwards after separation or divorce” will give you all the insights, tools and templates to work out what’s important to you and where you want to be… and then we’ll guide you to create a workable plan to get there. For more information, please click here.