I went through an upsetting breakup a few years ago. Whilst I knew it was for the best, there were still days that I struggled with disappointment, loss and uncertainty, so I created a suite of solutions that helped me tackle my bad days. After a (surprisingly) short time, I found the bad days weren’t as gloomy and they showed up less often.
The road out of a breakup is often a winding one. It’s usually a mix of good days (we feel excited, motivated and nothing can bring us down) and more challenging days (we cry into our cornflakes and want to move to a hut in outer Mongolia). This is completely normal. That said, it’s good to take a proactive approach and be prepared for the not-so-good days, so you can navigate through and beyond the rain clouds and back to the blue skies.
Top tips to climb out of breakup fog
I thought I’d share my tips to climb out of breakup fog and head towards to sunshine:
- Close your eyes and take 10 deep breaths – this is great if you are feeling anxious or out of whack. Sit in a comfortable spot, close your eyes and take 10 slow, deep breaths. If you need to, repeat again. In my experience this is the quickest way to calm the farm and see things with a new perspective.
- Music to soothe your soul – put on some tunes that make you happy and play them loudly. Music is a great mood-shifter.
- Distract yourself – switch your mind to something else – a movie, a book, clear out your closet, go for a run… do something that switches your thinking to a different topic.
- 10 things you like about being single – write a list and reflect on all the good things about your new situation. Then use these positives as your “crappy day umbrella”.
- Call your bestie – there’s nothing better than a download with a friend. You can talk about how you are feeling, enjoy a gossip and best of all, have a laugh.
- Work on a project – this might be something creative or practical. Immersing yourself in the “doing” will help you feel better by being productive whilst giving you a positive focus.
- What are you grateful for? – this is another great list to write. What are the five things you appreciate right now? It might be small things (a yummy snack, blue skies, a smile from a stranger), or bigger things that are going well in your life.
- Spoil yourself – what will make you feel nurtured and special right now? Perhaps a long bath, time out in nature, a cupcake from the local bakery, a manicure or a new outfit. It doesn’t need to be an expensive splurge – just something that makes you feel happy.
Food for thought
You may have heard the saying “this too shall pass”. There is a universal law that nothing stays the same, our feelings and situations change and evolve over time. If you are sad or upset today, it won’t last forever. Your sunlight will return, and with this new chapter comes possibilities and the opportunity to create the life of your dreams.
Supporting you with a fresh start
If you’re ready to get back on track after a breakup, we have the perfect companion to walk with you as you build your new life. Our 10-week online program called “Moving onwards and upwards after separation or divorce” will give you all the insights, tools and templates to work out what’s important to you and where you want to be… and then we’ll guide you to create a workable plan to get there. For more information, please click here.